16 6 / 2010
“So, What Do You Do?”
Whenever you meet somebody new, you get asked, “So, what do you do?” I hate that question, since people can perceive you in so many bad ways or you get pigeonholed into some stereo type.
For instance, if a guy meets a girl for the first time, and she asks that ‘what do you do for work?’
guy 1 answers, “I’m the CEO of a entertainment media company”
guy 2 answers. “A surf bum, I surf the web, and hang out at cafes all day”
Who does she believe? More than likely, none of them fully. With guy 1, then she will more than likely presume he’s a arrogant douche bag if he is really the CEO or he’s lying just to impress her. Guy 2, if he looks well put together, she won’t believe he’s just a bum, and more than likely be curious what he really does; and he won’t come off as a ‘try-hard’ either.
Applying that concept to Vietnam (or any other foreign country); Americans have that stereotype of having that arrogant bravado. There are some definite truth to it. So that’s one of the things that I try to be very mindful of while living/working in this country.
With that in mind, knowing how to disqualify myself in conversation has been very useful.
Another instance, if somebody complimented on how successful our web site is:
a. “Thanks, we’re the no. 1 forum community in the music space”
b. “Thanks, we’re the no. 1 forum community in the music space; but we still have a long way to catch up to the likes of Digg or Last.FM”
Response a. may not leave people the impression of someone humble. While response b. I can still show appreciation and confidence (not self deprecating), without coming off as that arrogant american guy.
Format flow is ‘appreciate the compliment, but then disqualify by taking yourself off the pedestal’.
Rather than saying ‘what’ you do, start off stating ‘why’ you do…
“I’m out here in Vietnam to help bring global experience and elevate the local entertainment and media industry. We have strong partnerships with many foreign companies. On the model agency side, we’re the agency that brings in all the models from Brazil, Russia and other foreign countries into Vietnam. With the web side, we try to partner up with the cool dot coms from the valley. And the TV side, we try to take all the cool show formats and localize them for this market tastes.”
Format flow is ‘why’, ‘how’, ‘what’.
If you’re doing a start up company, you’re always ‘on’ and have to push/promote your company… but there’s that fine line of being too bragadocious about your service/product or whatever the hell you do or have.
You’d be surprised how much more ‘likable’ and how much people are willing to help or work with you if they can follow or believe in your vision’(the ‘why’). Compare to that of using the ‘title’ card and trying to brag about what you do and have.
I’ve been very fortunate to have so many other expats and local Vietnamese be supportive and help us along the way with our start up business.
So many Vietnamese-Americans make the mistake of coming out here, and brag about having this, that and a third; basically saying how much better they are than the locals. Who likes hanging out with douche bags?
Check out this video from Simon Sinek who explains ‘starting with why’ so much better than I can.
